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25 Responses to “When the chips are down”
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The solution isn’t to give them more chips, that way they will always depend on other people to have self esteem. We should teach them to find the value within themselves, not outside.
Such a brilliant analogy. Everyone should have a chance to watch this.
Excellent video! A must for ALL parents to see…
@DataRelater From Copernicus to Richard Feynman (Cal Tech); from Francis Collins (head of human genome project and dropout) to Steve Jobs (Apple Computer, dropout) to Bill Gates (Microsoft; dropout) to Mike Lazaridis (BlackBerry/RIM; dropout) to Mick Jagger, people who are innovators and “their own person” are certainly not concerned with getting applause from others, my friend.
@DataRelater No, but it’s a really good way to mold someone into becoming externally focused for approval (i.e. insecure but obedient … a good soldier or corporate/intellectual slave) as opposed to being focused on what they find enjoyable and deriving pleasure/enjoyment from that.
La vida emocional no puede depender 100% de los demás porque así nos condenamos y condenamos a nuestros hijos a la infelicidad, a no estar nunca saciados. Es más fácil enseñar a vivir con menos fichas externas y a que fabriquen las propias. La cultura actual -decadente- quiere hacernos creer que la felicidad depende de otros, de las fichas que otros no den, que necesitamos más fichas de las realmente necesarias para vivir bien. Ser ejemplo de vivir con menos fichas y generar las propias.
good explenation… I agree
Es un fino equilibrio entre darle confianza para que crea en si mismo y progrese y hacerle creer que puede hacer lo que sea sin medir las consecuencias. Me parece una muy buena analogía.
Kids must learn EARLY to EARN respect. THAT will raise self-esteem. Modern psychology praises kids just for waking up, or arriving in class. In a job, bosses won’t do that!
Kids can earn respect by good grades, creativity, good deeds, great skills, sports, etc.
But life requires EFFORT and RESULTS to get respect. THEN you have self-esteem.
Tip: And when you find someone who always tries to slam you down, avoid them. They’re mentally sick, and they will ruin your positive outlook on life.
@DataRelater I didn’t some things that you just said. I’m interested in knowing about it. Could you explain it to me in another way?
We watched this in one of my early childhood classes last week and it really resonated with me. So glad I watched it, not only did it teach me about myself, but also to make sure I do the right thing for my own daughter.
He’s not wrong–but the segment dodges teaching kids to EARN their poker chips.
Equip the child to defend against esteem-vampires.
But teach that “Someday, a boss will reward whomever gets the most right answers, has better ideas, works hardest, motivates teams, and communicates best.”
Kids need real tasks that earn them the “poker chips” of a graduated allowance, movies, the new iPod. (And sometimes penalties.)
False “tasks” only stroke ego, they don’t build character or skills.
Great. Loved it. Allways thinking about my childs wellbeing. Thanks a lot. Dolores from Argentina.
Tell your kids the house always wins: over 9000 poker chips
Excellent it Made me think
@Gollywog realists suffer from the same ailment as pessimists. better have false hope than to know your limits
Good analogy, but don’t miss the point: analogies are ways to simplify reality, and may fail, because they’re are not reality. And I have to disagree with the idea of getting selfsteem depending on good things happening to you. Don’t we have any role in it? Is it uncontrollable? That’s not true, you are forgetting the processing of the child. Look at the ones that are unlikely to have many poker chips, but they have. Loom at the resilient ones that succeed in an adverse environment.
Someone should show this to the NZ government – as a teacher, it is not fair to the kids, to the teachers, to the parents
Alfie Kohn great guy on this w w w . alfiekohn . o r g / books. h t m but would say also the environment and this system with scarcity and inequality also.would say check out zeitgeist:moving forward peace.
This clip was the basis for our summer camp. The only problem with this is that you also should give them false hope too but then again, everyone can succeed if they believe in it
@TheLordofShell Richard Lavoie
@Estrella888
RICK LAVOIE
I’ve seen his videos at my kids school.And started using his methods.WOW!!!What a difference!!Whew,I thought my kid was never going to change his behavior.Great material!
this my prime teacher . he teaches me the skills that i should have to be an useful teacher and to be a good mummy!
i admire his thoughts and his way to deal with sociaL and education problem that every kid could have!
Anyone have some spare chips I could have