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Rick, Ricky, Ricardo

Rick, Ricky, Ricardo Reflection I knew going into this project that it was going to be difficult for me emotionally. Here I am, twenty-one years old and living in San Francisco with a family that has done nothing but support me. I remember though, being sixteen years old and coming out to my dad and not having the support that I do now. I remember feeling alone at times, because my dad wouldnt talk to me about anything. He said he still loved me, but that he thought it was a choice. Why would anyone choose to be gay? Why would anyone not want their father to talk to them? It hurt me so much and I just couldnt understand why he would think that way. Looking back on it now, and learning about his cousin Ricky and what he went through with AIDS, I guess I can understand my dads fears a little bit more. He grew up during a time when AIDS was called GRID, or Gay Related Immune Deficiency. He grew up during a time when being gay meant being a part of some crazy, drug induced subculture. His ambivalence toward my sexuality stemmed from a fear that the only possible end for his son was AIDS. In his eyes people didnt touch anyone infected with AIDS for fear of contamination. To him I would live out my life without ever feeling the love of another person. I dont resent my family for what happened to Ricky because they just didnt know how to cope with it all. Everything was so new to them. I should add that when I say my family I mean the many who did not know the real Ricky. The
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