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100 Seinfeld quotes [Episode 1]

A frenetic mashup of numerous, a lot of random clips from the legendary show about ‘nothing’. UPDATE 24-Feb-2011: Wayne Snell (Weezle56) has come forward as the author of the audio portion of this video! I’ve usually wondered who did the wonderful job of putting all the quotes together (discovered in an MP3 on Napster) so several years ago, and now the mystery is solved. Enjoy! SEINTOLOGY Audio compiled by Video compiled by Music: “Time is Tight” by Booker T & The MG’s Jerry: Hello! Jerry: So we go into NBC, we tell them we’ve got an concept for a show about absolutely nothing. George: Specifically. Jerry: They say “What’s your show about?” I say “Nothing”. George: There you go. Jerry: I think you might have some thing here. Kramer: Who desires to have some enjoyable? Jerry: Effectively let’s commence the insanity. Kramer: Giddy-up. George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay! Elaine: Shut up. George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay! Kramer: Wet and wild. George: Vandelay! Vandelay! Vandelay! Jerry: Delores! George: The sea was angry that day my friends… Jerry: …super-terrific carpal-tunnel syndrome. Elaine: Stella! George: I’m sorry, the card says “Moops”. Elaine: A bird ran into my giant freak-head. Jerry: I got jiggy with it! Kramer: I broke the covenant of the keys. Elaine: I’m speechless! I am without having speech. Kramer: Oh, I got the ball. Jerry: THAT is 1 magic loogey. George: The surprise blindfold greeting. That wasn’t in the manual. Kramer: A coffee-table book on coffee tables. Jerry: Hello, Newman

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12 Johnny Carson Quotes to Celebrate His Birthday

12 Johnny Carson Quotes to Celebrate His Birthday

Who wouldn’t want to read some Johnny Carson quotes? Especially during the month of his birthday! After all, this beloved entertainer made us laugh and, eventually, made us cry. These 12 Johnny Carson quotes go out to all of the Johnny fans who want to remember him during this time of year.

1. ?Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president.?

2. ?Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.?

3. ?Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist??

4. ?Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.?

5. ?The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.?

6. ?I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.?

7. ?Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.?

8. ?I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.?

9. ?The price of Christmas toys is outrageous — a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars’ worth of scotch.?

10. ?Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.?

11. ?People will pay more to be entertained than educated.?

12. ?If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.?

If there’s one thing I can honestly say about Johnny Carson, it’s that I never met a person who didn’t like him. He was quite the character. Let these 12 Johnny Carson quotes remind us of who this wonderful man was and how much he entertained us during his time here.

For more famous quotes, check out the popular famous quotes at, a website that specializes in ‘Top 10′ lists of quotations in dozens of categories.

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