The Classic TV Site

ELVES trailer

Rare trailer for the obscure 1990 schlocker ELVES starring a chain-smoking Dan Haggerty as an alcoholic ex-cop turned department store Santa who unwittingly becomes the only person that can prevent Neo-Nazis from completing their diabolical plan to spawn a psychotic satanic elf that must mate with a purebred Aryan virgin by Christmas Eve in order to procreate Adolf Hitler’s half-human/half-elf master race that will conquer the world. I’m not making any of this up. What I have just described is the actual plot. Not a comedy or even tongue-in-cheek horror flick; ELVES takes itself awfully serious for a motion picture involving the occult, the Antichrist, incest, Neo Nazis with fake German accents, a Mommy Dearest that drowns pets in the toilet, a perverted kid brother who peeps on his sister as she dresses, a virgin girl wielding a magical elfstone, Dan Haggerty chain smoking even as he brushes his teeth, and a horny, knife-wielding, pistol-packin elf.

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